The imp possible’s

The imp  possible’s

  

He peeks at me through the half open door

But I don’t dare say “come in” to him

I know he is trouble

He is the holy terror of the neighborhood.

 

I tip toe to the door

And try to close it ever so nicely

I had almost got it done

When his tiny nose came crawling in through the slit.

 

“You gave me a fright”

 

I murmured to the short brown hairs

 

The imp is merely one and half feet

But his eyes look several thousand

 

“Ride” He points to something beyond with his open palms

 

I had heard of his ride

His father had just got him that the other day

 

The other boys all had big rides

So he needed one too.

 

One can see him wheeling it among the other boy biking fanatics

(He can’t yet climb on it)

And quarrelling with them

He calls them “bitches” and “sluts”

No one knows where he learned them

And the boys are pretty pissed about that

Strangely those are the only two words he could clearly utter too.

 

“Hmm, hmm” I say troubled. I like the imp somehow.

 

He wriggles past me into the room and starts handling things

 

I try to get some sense into him

 

“No, no, not that, that’s my pen”

 

“No you can’t take that, that’s a

Laughing Buddha, the favorite of your aunt’s”

 

(He doesn’t believe in aunts. This aunt being my wife

She would probably murder me if that statue got broke.)

 

The little terror was having it pretty good in my writing room.

 I again tried to normalize things.

 

“No, you can’t, I said you can’t, that’s the mouse of my computer

The lights you see in it are not fitted there to attract bees like you.

Don’t ever think that”

 

Well he has seen the morning paper by now.

 

“Now don’t tear the paper, there may

Even be some news in it you know”

 

I manage to remove every other item to where the

 Tiny devil can’t reach them.

I surveyed the room; there is not much he can do now.  

I turned towards my computer.

After a while I start hearing noises from the inner room

 

Well the imp had locked himself in that room and was making

Hell inside

 

As all good things happen in our lives, my wife comes in just then

And starts wailing

 

“What have you gone and done now!”

 

What, what the hell do you mean, he is the one doing that!

 

And you let him into the room. I had my trunk open, it has jewelry

 

I relaxed. Wonderful.   Its only jewelry. No big deal.

 

One thing you can say about a human wail, it tends to attract people.

Soon there were all the girls in the locality around the door, the big boys smelling mischief, were not far behind.

 

Girls started cajoling the imp

 

Honey, open the door, wont you, you like chocolates, I have plenty

 

The revelry inside picks up momentum

 

Sweet, it’s your mamma, I have halwa for you

 

It’s getting merrier inside

 

The boys want to break the door down.

 I wouldn’t have any breaking down of doors.

 

All the while the girls  are directing

 Freezing and deeply pitying glances at me.

The big guy, don’t know how to control a child,

Now he has got the little guy locked inside.

 

I am all too familiar with the way girls think so I hold a poker face to it.

 

The cajoling is going nowhere.

 

The imp is grunting and whooping inside and there is a constant noise of things breaking.

 

The time was getting late too.

There were conferences.  

Without my participation of course I being the main culprit.

A consensus was being arrived at.

They want to break the door open.

 

I got fed up and moved towards the door and shouted

 

You little capsule of trouble, I have your bike now,

 It seems a good bike to me.

 

There is dead silence for a while.

 The imp has pretty good ratiocinating faculties.

There was the clatter of latches being pulled and handles being turned

The imp shoots through my legs towards his precious bike

 

I look at the guys and girls and hold myself humble.

 

The girls are not impressed at all.

 

My girl says

 

You shouldn’t have called him” a little capsule of trouble”

He is not a capsule.

 

There were pitying looks all around on the girl’s part.

 

 To call a child a capsule! A little darling at that…..

 

I was getting pretty pissed at the patronizing attitude of the girls.

As if everyone is nice out in the world.

As if such imps could get along without being mauled once in a while  

That would be tantamount to  an injustice wouldn’t it. 

 

“Oh, should one call him “mother Theresa l” then” 

 

I ask

 

More pitying looks

 

“You guys should know he destroyed every single item within his reach.”

 

Then you should have moved them out of his reach. 

 

The girls hotly respond.

 

The boys are enjoying the beating I was taking.

 

Well I was not taking it any more.

 

I say coldly.

 

Thank your stars you don’t have anything worth it where he can reach.

 

The silence was one that you could only cut with a laser beam

 

 The boys are trying to maintain composure and terribly failing.

The effort making their faces into grotesque sculptures

 

They now think hard and astonishingly  vanish from the site

 

 The girls are having some sort of spasms and there were many an

 Interesting look directed towards me.

 

They leave as if the world is full of joy and they are enjoying it

 

Slowly the coast clears and peace is established.