On life and its vagaries

A flaming affair

with 6 comments

Now the mouse   shouldn’t have done that, the cat was musing pensively licking his paws, it made a mess of the whole affair…………

…………this desire for cleanliness is a damn nuisance.  It’s some sort of a fixation with me. He thought with some vexation.

………I should get out of this rut. Sometimes one gets tired of licking oneself, really what’s the use? Is my missus here to check my manners?

Well that’s not here or there, the point is, the mouse behaved like a buck before a pack of hounds. Or a spinster before a group of youth, there are subtle vibes, you know, which upsets the apple cart.

It stared and jumped at every move I made, pretty unnerving too, considering I am a pure vegetarian. Not by choice of course, but by a disease, can’t stand them meat and fish.

Damn funny stuff, goes out of the backside without any processing at all.  It’s some kind of a thing with the stomach. It gets all squeamish when the stuff goes into it. I tried to talk it out of this habit, but it wouldn’t budge.

I   told the thing:

Buddy, I am a cat, and a cat has certain responsibilities. It has to eat meat and fish. It is encoded in the cat constitution.

But it would only say:

Broor…. And then again. Broor………….

Not a very nice word to hear all the time, considering one has to be in the toilet to talk to it too.I did not press the point any further. So I gave up and now sup on the creams alone.

He weighs a ton. The mistress says proudly. I love my mistress

She is slim and does have nice figure too, I like to rub myself against her legs, and sometimes I look on when she applies make up on her face. She likes me to watch then.  Its tough work too, damn time consuming.

There are occasions when she pulls me into the bath even; I don’t like water, hates it in fact and bristles all up. You should see the way my mistress laughs then, its then that I think her a little weird. Not that she is better even otherwise, the way she chucks me away and run to that dandy who comes now and then, is totally sick to say the least.

Oh, Pradeep, How wonderful of you to come!

Well can’t deny it, It’s pretty wonderful considering the way she behaves with him, doesn’t leave him alone for a moment. Utterly disgraceful, if she was my woman I would have taught her manners.

She doesn’t know to how coo and to be coy with him too.I have a gut feeling that she is afraid of something.  She doesn’t want to make some kind of a mistake.I cannot yet gather what that mistake is. It has some connection with the dud.

Now, don’t think that I am saying this because of any animosity between him and me. He is nothing compared to me. Usually I sleep with her in bed while we are alone. In fact I have the run of the bed and she looks demurely on while I prance about, straightening my tail.  This coyness of her has nothing feminine in it. She seems to have this thing for feline grace.  She is shy of it.

This is just a guess; she doesn’t touch me a lot but looks on me wonderingly.May be some androgen has somehow found a way into her.

Anyway, she doesn’t fondle me at all as if frightened of the action.  It’s strange how her eyes look when she thrusts her face at me with some intensity. She wants to discover something about herself from me.

What do you have for me? Her eyes ask me. I purr and close my eyes to avoid the issue.

That dandy has complicated matters for her, I believe. He is a total ignoramus, doesn’t even know what he is getting into. He can’t break our relationship.  We have a deep connection, I and my mistress, we complete each other in ways that others can’t understand.

The guy is totally unaware of that, yet we also have a strong bond in the sense that we don’t like each other. It’s strange how we think of the ones we don’t like the most in our lives.  I don’t know if he thinks about me while he is away, but I do often.

He suffers me only just when he comes into the flat.

Your kitten is churlish.

He always grunts catching sight of me lounging on the sofa settee.I could sense his legs itching to kick me around.

Kitten yourself! I angrily purr.   I am a cat and not a kitten.

But no one would be listening. He does it on purpose, maybe he too thinks me as a rival in some sense, I don’t know why.

You take him to bed too. He had wonder on his face.

Dangerous habit, this hair on their body; they are the main cause of Asthma, a recent study says.

That was just plain bullshit.

Are you jealous of him, the mistress asks him, now are you?

Faugh. He says. Don’t call that thing him. It’s just a feline.

Oh ho ho ! You are jealous of him! The mistress shouts.

May be a little. The dandy says. I can’t think of you lying next to that thing.

She just goes all mellow at that.

Well it’s just like humans to call us things. He believes I like it when I lie next to her. God forbid, she has skinny frame  and there is no comfort between them. I like something filled up and whole. It feels nice when you are curled up between soft large coolish  masses.

I have such experience with her friend. She coos and flutters when she notices me.

Oh, my sweet, oh my darling, come to me.

She clasps me to her breasts and though I manfully struggle and feign to get away, I am feeling all good on the insides. She giggles when I stretch my toe nails out and places me in her lap. There would be tears in her eyes if I just manage to claw her through her clothing, without hurting of course.

Shoo shoo she would say and would start saying the most insensible of things in the world.

She sort of looks on my mistress in a strange way too. Practically worships her, though afraid to say it aloud.

They sleep on the same bed when she comes visiting. She sighs and moans and clutches me to her heart before going off into sleep. I know I am a mere substitute. But I don’t mind, I have what I want, you can’t always be choosy about what you have in life.

Life is full of compromises.

But my mistress, she doesn’t do that when we are alone, just looks at me and thinks. And she thinks and thinks………till she gets all muddled up and wanders away into sleep. I don’t like to sleep very next to her; she is a little too skinny for that.

Anyway all have different tastes and likes. The dandy who comes over every now and then, he just waters at the mouth when he sees her, I can see strange fires burning within him when he looks after her.

I thought she did not have sense enough to hold him,   but how wrong I was. I had retreated to the bed room when he appeared today, can’t suffer him for more than a minute.

I was lying on the bed while they appeared in it totally tangled.

Damn the cat he cursed glaring at me while lowering her to the bed.

My mistress looked hurt so he picked me up, grinding his teeth in revulsion and put me out of the room, unobtrusively giving me a kick after putting me down.

I was raging insides. I still felt his dirty hands on me shook myself several times to shake it off me.

You can’t blame me for what happened next.

I am not a cat who loses control like others of my ilk and runs around screeching when I am crossed. The mistress reads Khalil Gibran to me sometimes.

So I was lying down and ruminating on the course of action to take.

It was then the mouse entered the scene. It came through the door I use in the house.

I normally dislike intruders.  One has to have some peace and quiet in one’s own house.  Yet I waited, I didn’t want it for food, and I was a vegetarian.

But I was seething inside and felt the primordial catness waking inside me. I decided to have some fun.

So there I was looking at it after I had blocked its escape route. I was not going to kill it; I was going to play with it for a while till my anger died down.

It was still functioning with the old class distinctions and was all shivering and quailing and watching me.  It did not know the world has changed and we are in the same boat more or less.  Damn evident case of neurosis. But I made use of it.

It doesn’t also know my current predicament. I can’t catch even my tail if I want to, too fat you know.  But I chased it nevertheless. It was a silent affair.  I kept it away from the door and drove it inside.  The chase entered the bed room and suddenly we were in the midst of them.

The mouse frantically tried to slip through the gap between their bodies as the dandy was kneeling  over to kiss  my mistress and I went in after.  I really don’t know what happened afterwards. Something was trying to crush me down and I had to get out of the tangle.

It was somewhat bloody and filled with screams after that.

The dandy has just limped out after trying to murder me with all sorts of things for a violent ten minutes. My mistress is crying and has some blood on her too.

I still think that the mouse shouldn’t have done it……………


Written by Sam

October 6, 2009 at 4:32 pm

6 Responses

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  1. interesting way of narration..


    October 7, 2009 at 2:54 pm

  2. Nice of you to think so


    October 7, 2009 at 5:00 pm

  3. 🙂


    October 9, 2009 at 5:05 am

  4. =^D


    October 9, 2009 at 4:05 pm

  5. what does that symbol means? 🙂


    October 13, 2009 at 5:14 pm

  6. Its pretty cruel of you to pull my poor legs again 🙂 Anyway as I am ready to be pulled so, here is what it is:

    It is a big smile or laugh . You know, you smiled and I smiled bigger . Some use it without the second character like this =D



    October 13, 2009 at 6:41 pm

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