On life and its vagaries

My goddess, my life

with 16 comments

A fragrance of dew still lingered in the air as I stepped out of the shade of the thicket. The night was silent and sweet, I could hear no noises.

There was a rustle of the dress and then she was besides me.

Can you go alone? I asked.

Yes. The voice was faint and husky.

There is the starlight. I said.

Yes. I can manage.

I kissed her. There was that faint aroma again, dew like, evanescent.

I have nothing to give you, not even a light…….

I was whispering now in her sweet ears. The ear felt cold and crisp and those unruly and stray hairs again touched my face like cobwebs made out of the happy essence of life.

I softly said again:

Oh my dear what shall I give you now…

You gave me enough. She murmured.

I didn’t want to let her go.

Don’t go, I pleaded.

I won’t.

She said, moving away.

Don’t go

I am not.

She faded into the night.

I waded through the narrow canal and climbed over to the other side.

And I walked.

The night was full of noises now. Crickets were having a symphony of a kind, frogs were clearing their throats and night birds were kicking up a row.

As if by magic they slowly blended to form the most beautiful symphony I have ever listened to. I became enraptured by it and stood still for a moment.

It was so musical that my soul was in a tremor and I started remembering shades of sweetness which had touched my life in the past. Those soft feel’s, faint but loving smiles, indefinably kind gestures, lightening visions of beauty, very rare and very precious………

All through these I could still hear the hum of night in the background, feel the kiss of soft mist in my nostrils, savor the wispy brush of night flies on my skin and feel the slow wet tingle of the night dew through the old sandals I was wearing.

I felt peaceful and heart-full. There was a sweetly spent feeling in me too, very fragrant, very light. Everything around me appeared indistinct and dream like to my eyes, every step like treading on liquid moss.

I was now on the grassy footpath between paddy fields. Every time I placed a step forward something faintly tinkled behind me.

It was the goddess of night, I knew, she walks behind every one at nights on lonely paths and I wasn’t frightened; she has always been friendly towards me. I went still forward.

Then somehow she was before me, hooded and solemn, faintly outlined in the starlight, she lunged at me with her shiny dagger.

I tried to evade it but fell into the freshly planted paddy shoots below. She was on me in a second. We struggled for the blade for some little while, then I lost grip.

There was a barely hearable plop somewhere within me, I wondered what it was. Then it occurred again. I smelled the acrid scent of the loosened dirt under me. The cold of the earth suddenly began to chill my spine.

Then I was free. I saw the goddess hastening away like a wind over the fields. I flew after her. She crossed the ford and was darting away into the night.

I was with her when she kicked the door open to enter a thatched house, smelling of smoke and boiling rice.

A snatch of an old song was still hanging in the air. Then I saw her, my lover, my dearest, with a comb in her hair and a hair pin between her teeth.

The goddess caught her by the throat, lifting the bloody dagger in her hand.

Everything seemed to stand still for a second.

Then my dearest fainted and slumped down. I tried to intervene.

Both of them did not notice it.

The goddess was snarling:

You rotten thing, you bloody wanton; you could give that dolt everything that I wanted to be mine, could you.

The girl shuddered and became still the moment the knife entered her heart.

After that we two flew off, leaving the poor goddess with her body.

We lingered a while together, seeking each other, comforting each other. Yet strangely we were not going the same way. Something took her away from me, I protested, tried to cling to her for my life. But there was that inscrutable force……… separating us…..

It left me here, still wandering in this lonely place………. no more was anything visible of the world I knew…..And I wanted it all back intensely, my world, my dreams………

She is back there now, I frantically thought, she is back there,  that’s why I am left here…….all alone.

Then strangely I was again within myself, groaning, feeling that acrid smell of dirt, hearing the steps of people through the vibrations of the wet ground, seeing the hazy luminance of approaching lights….

I began to cry…………….


16 Responses

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  1. this is fabulous.. your way of writing is extraordinary.


    September 16, 2009 at 6:16 pm

  2. Well thank you very much Trisha . If your poetic heart feels that it is good, then it must be good.


    September 16, 2009 at 6:43 pm

  3. it was scary.. not noble.. you have been successfull in creating an environment of fear.. i could feel the crimes.


    September 17, 2009 at 12:01 pm

  4. Well, dear Trisha what a great fall for my ego 🙂

    By good I did’t mean noble. “Whether or not it was readable” would say it more exactly.Okay I see that you are disappointed with it. No problem, I can live with that 🙂


    September 17, 2009 at 2:18 pm

  5. it was quite a breathless reading.. are you trying to write violent stories? seems so.. the hair on the nape of my neck is still standing after reading some of your stories..


    September 18, 2009 at 11:39 am

  6. These days I never plan to write a story in a particular way. I just allow my fingers to type it. Those violent stories came from dreams. I would often get ideas in my dream, though I dont really know, I would have the idea when I wake up and would have to do something about it.


    September 18, 2009 at 2:43 pm

  7. you remember those dreams? you are sooo lucky!
    every night when i am just about to sleep an interesting poem glides in.. by the morning its simply erased.. 😦


    September 19, 2009 at 5:39 pm

  8. Well my ideas occur mostly in the half awake state in the mornings. That helps to remember them.

    Give a strong command to you mind to remember the poems in the mornings. It might make the mind remember………. 🙂


    September 19, 2009 at 7:07 pm

  9. i dont think my mind will obey me.. she will blissfully sleep 🙂


    September 20, 2009 at 2:52 pm

  10. Well we can’t help the loss then 🙂


    September 20, 2009 at 5:09 pm

  11. guess so.. 🙂


    September 20, 2009 at 5:29 pm

  12. Ask them to come to me. I am a little short of ideas right now 🙂


    September 20, 2009 at 6:00 pm

  13. oh no you are not.. i loved all the poetries and the stories you placed today.


    September 22, 2009 at 11:47 am

  14. Kind of you to say that 🙂


    September 22, 2009 at 9:00 pm

  15. i speak truth.. 🙂 its not always kind.. though i try to dip it in honey jar.


    October 3, 2009 at 5:38 pm

  16. Very tricky of you to beguile a poor soul like me 🙂


    October 3, 2009 at 9:35 pm

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